Positive Outlook, ramble ramble.
Sometimes I think of an idea that wanna share on Tumblr, but when I finally log on, the idea goes away and I feel lazy to type it out.
Quality
Yesterday, I said “You guys don’t piss me off!” and I really really regret that. I wasn’t thinking. LOL. I mentioned it to Carolyn. When I think about it, it seems a bit thoughtless.
I’d rather appreciate my friends for their own unique, individual qualities, rather than to glorify them in comparison to intolerable faults of others who’ve disappointed me. My friends aren’t an escape from a world of disappointment or sadness or whatnot. That would just make me seem desperate. I’m not going to establish a friendship with a person as some sort of business compromise to improve myself. I would just feel like a leech. Friendship takes two, hopefully with equal efforts.
Therapy
It’s just a feeling. They make me happier. Not that I was sad or anything, but they are like pluses. I want a friend who makes me so happy that I just naturally care about them too. I already appreciate my life, my family, my home, and my friends. I love myself too.
I like helping people with their problems. I don’t want them to be sad. So I can go out of my way to listen or if they need advice, help them out. But I don’t want to go any further than that because I don’t want to make a friendship out of sympathy. I don’t want a parental or therapist-like relationship. I want a friendship based on your real traits, not because I feel sorry for you.
I like people who can keep a conversation going are open with who they are. If you don’t talk, or don’t have anything to share, it’s like you don’t exist. Because words are how you express yourself, if you don’t speak, then you are just like a body and the people around you might as well be by themselves.
Hypocrisy
But I guess what I just wrote shows that I’m not true to my word. That I’ll always compare people. That people have disappointed me by acting thoughtlessly to their friends and take advantage of them. They don’t do it intentionally, but it happens as a result of their thoughtlessness. I admit there are moments when I wrote this that I’ve recalled a few people that have frustrated me a bit. x_x
I don’t mean to be a hypocrite. Maybe it’s just natural and I’m thinking too much. I want to do my best to make sure I treat my friends well, and that I take care of myself too.
If what I write is stupid, I’d rather say it out loud and be a public fool for people to correct me, than forever stay a fool lost in my own mind.
OMG, I’m such a weirdo. LOL. Maybe I just shouldn’t share things, I feel so silly about it. xD But I’ll leave it for now. =)
