Trickle
at the top of my head.
my madre doesnt want me to cook anything. not even a cake from the mix. she doesn’t want me to do a lot of things. if i do a lot of something, she’ll tell me to stop. if i enjoy drawing, then she’ll tell me to stop it. if i like to make pastries, she’ll tell me to stop. sometimes i feel like i’ll never be able to be talented at anything because if i work on something too much in this house, my mom will tell me to stop it. only if i’m reading, will she leave me alone. or if i’m doing homework… but there are so many things to learn instead of just cramming and filling in answers on tests.
my mom didn’t want me to do community service things, and didn’t want me to go to CFJ. it was “too much time” but how else am i supposed to get work experience? look at me now, i was able to get an internship out of it. and my resume at least has references and experience i can put down. even from being on the badminton team. i feel like i have an advantage from going out and doing these things.
sometimes i wonder how much my mom knows. she never went to highschool and never has had a real career. she’s only picked up cardboard on the street and worked at low-end vietnamese restaurants. in america, i feel like everybody tells you that there are so many opportunities etc., and that if you work hard, you can do anything. but i don’t get that vibe from my mom at all. it seems more like “don’t fail” rather than “do what you love”. if i keep staying around home, i’ll feel like i have to take care of my mom. she’s gotten better. sometimes i think it’d be best for me to leave if my parent’s aren’t supporting me.
maybe i’m just being silly.
